the system

Hello blog. I don't even know where to begin. I'm writing this post to express my deep disappointment right now. The growing hatred towards women is truly frightening and infuriating.

The worst part is, this misogyny is often masked as something for our own sake when it's really just an attempt at controlling us. For instance, a few weeks ago, I had a teacher give us a whole speech about how girls dress when they go out or about how Simone de Beauvoir is not a feminist. In the moment, it seemed like it was out of protection, but analyzing his words, there's an underlying sexism. First of all, he specifically talked to us girls and almost ignored the guys, as if it’s our responsibility, our fault, when it's really men who should be taught and educated. He said that we shouldn't dress in a revealing way because if we do, guys are only going to like us for our body, not for us. Because we obviously only dress for men... This also gave the idea to the boys in my class that if a girl dresses like that, it’s okay to only like her for her body i.e., objectify her. WTF?! At the time, it came off as "I'm just trying to protect you," but it’s coming from very ill beliefs. Then, he criticized Simone de Beauvoir and stated that she is, in fact, not a feminist because she took the worst things from men and started doing them, like smoking and drinking. Once again, this comes from the false belief that smoking and drinking is a "man's thing"...You can think whatever you want about any author, but to state that she’s not a feminist because she drank and smoked? Those reasons are not it. This grown man also said many other things with equal sexist undercurrents. I spoke about it with my mum. I wish I had realized in the moment, I wish I had spoken up. All the girls in my class realized what he was saying wasn't right, but did the boys? I don’t know. Simply the fact that the teacher barely addressed them already makes it seem like it isn’t their responsibility. Boys will be boys, right? Bullshit.

I'm sick of women having to be small to not intimidate men. But no wonder, right? Because as soon as we start to speak up, men backfire with hatred and disrespect. But we don’t owe them anything, and to all the women reading, let's fight the patriarchy by simply being ourselves. I see it every day—how men are allowed to be weird, to be funny, to be wrong, but we’re judged for it. We’re supposed to be quiet, poised, and calm. We’re not allowed the luxury of simply being ourselves. Since we were little, boys have always been allowed to say whatever they want because they've unconsciously been taught that just because they are men, their opinions are valuable. On the other hand, girls have been taught that our opinions are not valuable, but they are. Let’s be ourselves. Our opinions do matter. It doesn’t matter if it’s silly, absurd, or weird. Let’s stop second-guessing ourselves because they aren’t.

After the release of Adolescence, it has become increasingly apparent that we are failing boys. As a sister of one, it breaks my heart. I honestly feel sad for men because they don’t realize the extent of how the patriarchy also affects them. They don’t realize that the system built for them gets stronger by feeding off of their insecurities and turning them into hatred towards women. I don’t think a system that feeds off of your weaknesses is genuinely making you stronger and better. It's just making you feel like you're stronger when, in reality, it's making you more hateful and disrespectful. But does it make you happy? To turn your pain into hatred instead of turning it into growth?

Women and men, we have to stop this. Let's stop finding our differences and unite against hatred. Let’s mourn a system that has failed all of us. I very often see videos like "men can’t understand this feeling" or whatever. In the moment, it seems innocent with the aesthetic pictures and cute music, but it’s just reinforcing that women and men are so different, that men can’t empathize with us. We're excusing their behaviour. We are all able to understand each other, so let’s just cut the silliness. And yes, the tiktok concept of girlhood is beautiful, but let’s not forget what it’s a product of.

While we waste our time dividing humans by gender, race, and every other characteristic on the planet, there are people actively using it as means to get away with policies that negatively affect the grand majority of us. Let's stay focused on what matters and reconsider if it's really worth it to continue a war that is just being used for the gain of a handful of people, against the wellbeing of the great majority.